The toilet paper at work is terribly course.
After using it my anus feels pooper’s remorse.

There was a time when we were given silky papers of luxury.
It was a dream to wipe away our brown blubbery.

But it was short lived, merely a rectal tease.
Cos then it was back to sandpaper for our sloppy sleaze.

Every wipe is a violent grinding on my asshole.
I bet my sphincter looks like a destroyed rissole.

To avoid more pain, I’m going on a hiatus from the poo.
It’s a futile endeavour, already I need to ooze brown ragu.