Here I am minding my own business…
When my bowels think it’s Christmas.

What’s happening? Is it a party or a fight?
All I know is there’s a foul brewing of shite.

A violent churn, a twist and a turn.
For the porcelain I do now yearn.

Inside my tummy something is doing backflips.
It’s like a battle between the Bloods and Crips.

Now I’m worried there’s blood involved.
This icky mystery is still unresolved.

The nearest loo is far from my reach.
Alarm bells go off, I’m about to breach!

Will I make it or will my pants suffer?
Stay tuned, see if I reach the flusher!