Let me introduce you to a friend of ours.
After taking huge dumps he takes bows.

His name is Johnny “Blood in my Stool” Jones.
Always doing monster shits from his tailbone.

But the bigger the shit he oozes out…
Increasing the chance of screams and shouts.

You see when he applies too much rectal force…
He pops a vessel and his anus feels remorse.

That’s how he got the nickname “Blood in my Stool.”
After such an episode he’d made a sickly red pool.

The doctors told him to take his shit easy.
“Don’t force it out so hard or you’ll feel queasy.”

Now his first name is Johnny, as in “on The John.”
We call him this cos he’s a stinky poo-pong.

Forgetting to flush, and sometimes forgetting to wipe!
This dirty bogan gives us serious gripes.

Sometimes we just call him “The John” for short.
When pooping he tells his shits they must deport.

But whenever his little immigrants deport all at once.
He shouts at them rudely “Don’t rush you bloody cunce!”