I’m experiencing unpleasant rectal behaviour. All day long I’ve had scatastrophic failure.

Things are exploding out my taint. If they keep on blasting I’ll probably faint.

What have I done to deserve this treatment? All I want is peaceful excrement.

Perhaps I’ve eaten something rotten? I can’t remember I must have forgotten.

But even food can’t cause this strife. Nor produce a stench so rife.

So what could it be to cause this horror? I hope it passes by tomorra.

I can’t go on in this much pain. I need all poo gone and flushed down the drain.