How many times should I wipe?
This isn’t a complaint nor a gripe.
You see, I lose track of the standard count.
What is the balance of my brown bank account?
The person in the cubicle next door,
May wipe three times, or maybe four.
But if my slurry supplies are in excess,
The count increases and I’ll obsess.
Because we all want a shiny clean hole.
Make that ring sparkle, that’s our goal.
Half a dozen wipes are probably too much.
Don’t be forceful, use a careful, gentle touch.
However, when all is said and done,
Use the whole roll if you have the runs!
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