Groundbog Day

This morning when I unloaded my guts.
I felt good, no longer in a fecal rut.

But that feeling of rectal elation wouldn’t last.
Cos in came another bowel-shattering blast.

Then a fat one squirmed out from my cheeks.
My nostrils were flooded with the reeks.

Another soggy log oozed it’s way out.
I was disturbed at how wet it felt.

I pondered what I’d been eating of late.
When again, another lump left my date.

By now I was getting quite concerned.
For leaving the bathroom I did yearn.

Lo and behold, another juicy nugget began to crown.
My face was now showing a huge frown.

It won’t stop! Out came another saucy zucchini.
Why on Earth can’t I cease birthing brown weenies?

One after one, my ass kept dropping logs.
What has caused this continuous bog?

Like Groundhog Day, stuck in this sickening loop.
My butt keeps shitting, keeps delivering juicy poops.

I decided to do a test, I stood to leave and wipe.
But the shit kept flowing like a waterfall of tripe.

Somewhere there must be an off switch I thought.
Somehow this neverending pooping I must abort.

Then I felt the build-up, the damn bowl was full!
Reaching back, the flush chain I did pull.

With my cheeks now soiled I hoped for the best.
I was in luck, the flushing was a welcome guest.

Then my butt ceased its ferocious fecal flow.
Now my face showed a happy and content glow.

Uneventfully, I went about the rest of my day.
No unending bogs, no menacing brown sprays.

When nighttime came I got myself a full nights sleep.
Then I awoke on the John, and a bad feeling did creep…

Pure Pooetry

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