A sudden cramp, my sudden plight.
It set me off on this fecal flight.

Luckily I was only several metres away.
From a place I could dock my butt at bay.

Docked like a ship, I drop the anchor.
I deposit my brown funds like a banker.

Negotiating the weight and force of gravity.
My fecal physics skills do void this cavity.

The fumes rise like steam from fresh noodles.
Only they never smelled like excretion from poodles.

All this because of a gross and sneaky bowel cramp.
In which I luckily avoided making my undies damp.