I have a friend who I suspect is insane.
He loves to fill his pants with brown rain.

Even when he doesn’t have the runs…
He says soiling his undies is loads of fun.

The first time he told me I thought he was only joking.
But then he screamed “MY TURTLEHEAD’S POKING!”

It was then I knew he didn’t really care…
About what others thought of his derrière.

Nor did he give two hoots…
About releasing a dirty loud toot.

Right in the middle of a shopping centre…
He’d announce his ass was a brown venter.

Then he’d proceed to unload a steamy mass.
It was nothing short of vile and crass.

I haven’t seen him for many a year.
I think the reasons are poofectly clear.