Constipation’s got your bowels all bent?
Here’s a cure to move brown cement.

Slather a helping of butter up yo crack.
I know, this remedy sounds kinda whack.

Trust me, you’ll soon see results and more!
In no time you’ll smell the rancid downpour.

Plus it is useful to have butter on hand.
Lunch is now easier to make on demand.

Squeeze out a line of that golden brown juice.
The final ingredient to a sweet chocolate mousse.

You’ll be a hit with all the hipster foodies.
Your secret ingredient is in the booties!

Your Instagram followers have exploded.
All your photos are meals you’ve unloaded.