This message has been brought to you by The Department of Fecal Affairs.

I like a nice clean seat.
Clear of any fecal skeet.

When the porcelain shines and gleams,
It’s free of filthy poo-stained creams.

If someone leaves a stay pube.
I’ll seek a cleaner toilet cube.

If you find rust in the bowl, beware.
A decaying toilet can give you a scare.

Especially if in the middle of a shit,
The toilet crumbles and you gotta split.

They say cleanliness is next to godliness.
Applicable when squeezing out the Loch Ness.

So always check the loo before you poo,
And when done don’t leave any brown goo.