A cringing pain was felt within my bowel, my third poo of the day has made me howl.

Time shift now to new years eve, like a drunk my butthole heaves.

Bangs like fireworks can be heard, the only difference is mine smell like turd.

Many a colour but mostly brown, the foreigners went swimming and they all drowned.

But here’s to a happy and safe new year, where we’re able to eat what we want and not live in fear.