You won’t believe it but you will implore, for today my friends this is dump number four.

Today I’ve shed away the extra pounds, simply by unloading fecal mounds.

Some may say four turds in a day is a real bummer, but no not me I’m getting ready for summer.

You ask how so I’ll let you in, here’s my secret to be thin.

By releasing dumps into the potty, you can get that awesome body.

Just be a pig and stuff your face, then let gravity take it’s place.

Food travels down when it leaves the plate and that’s the goal with our weight.

So this holiday season excrete your poo, for even better results be sure to thoroughly chew.