I have a friend, his name is Fred.
Aged 28, he still shits the bed.

Now this Fred is a bit of a dumb sleaze.
Pooping his pants when has a sneeze.

And shockingly in fact, still to this very day,
His parent’s wipe him when he calls out "OK!"

Like I said, he’s a bit of a spaz.
Not retarded, just lazy and crass.

I think he just doesn’t give two shits.
Not literally! People say he’s the pits.

The other day while he was driving to work.
His bowel was rumbling and gave a twerk.

He couldn’t hold it in, nor get to a loo in time.
So he just let it out, all that foul fecal slime.

But I wasn’t there, so how do I know?
It’s my car soiled with his brown blow!