I’m backed into a corner with no where to run.
But I have a secret weapon, a rumbling in my bum.

My hand is forced, so is my rectum.
Time to fight back, to really wreck ’em!

I should explain what happened, why I’m here.
I foiled a bank robbery, now it’s the crooks I fear.

They chased me down this alley, into their trap.
Little do they know in store for them, my mighty crap!

So I drop my pants and reveal my starfish.
The look on their faces, a sudden death-wish.

“Don’t come any closer or I’ll pull my own finger!”
Laughing they get brave, so I pull the trigger.

Torrents of shit erupt like a geyser.
Now we know who was more wiser.

They scream in pain as the hot spray lands.
Scorching their skin and destroying their glands.

I flee the scene before the cops arrive.
But I leave a treat, a brownie surprise!