Hello Mr. Toilet, how are you?
Are you ready to eat my poo?
It’s your fecal feeding time.
Open wide for the slime.
Here oozes a sloppy number two.

A couple meals for you each day.
Keeps the sewer goblins away.
If you only get urine to drink.
You become a grumpy rat-fink.
So I nourish you with my brown clay.

Best thing about this is we both get a feed.
I eat the food, you eat the following stampede.
You eat anything dropped from my rear.
Most often than not it’s a gooey smear.
Though sometimes it’s a squishy little bead.

Sometimes I feed you an exotic dinner.
No questions here, we’re both the winner.
An expensive caviar or a rich curry.
This results in a dirty slurpee slurry.
And that’s just the appetizer, the beginner!

For the full course, a plentiful hearty meal.
I eat so much, even a banana peel.
For dessert a creamy chocolate mousse.
Going in and out, it looks like runny poose.
Now it’s your turn to feast, that’s the deal!