Long Shot

From afar I fire off a steaming poo.
My aim is bad and it misses the loo.

Fecal streaks litter the tiled floor.
Undetermined I’ll try some more.

Number two also misses the mark.
Third and fourth go right outta the park.

Five and six bounce off the seat.
This is proving to be quite a feat.

By now I’ve gathered a small audience.
But the smell and mess, rather notorious.

Voices are hushed as I shoot yet again.
Another miss and it splats on the S-bend.

Beginning to lose hope but the crowd cheers me on.
Everyone’s nose is plugged due to the pong.

I take a deep breath and launch a mighty flying turd.
My hopes and dreams soar straight as a brown bird.

My fans hold their breath as the fecal flies high.
A silent contrast to their recent joyous cries.

It’s looking good, and yes! It’s in with a swish!
The magical shot is now swimming with the fish.

The fans go wild, a hot chick gives me a kiss.
Thankfully my poo is forgotten in the abyss.

A news reporter praises my genius mastermind.
“I’d like to thank God, Mamma and of course my behind!”

Pure Pooetry

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