It’s been ages since this happened…
I forgot to check before I crappened.

I sat n shat, the deed was done.
Then it was time to wipe my bum.

I glanced at the paper roll and froze in terror.
I felt my bowel scream “SYSTEM ERROR!”

A panic washed over me, the onset of tears.
I hadn’t screwed up like this in many years!

Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I formed a plan to clean my brown treasures.

I took the empty cardboard tube.
Then spat on the edge to act as lube.

Holding my shit shovel, my nerves were weak.
But I had no choice, I was up a certain creek!

Without being too graphic, the job was complete.
Though it left a scar, this awful fecal scraping feat.