If there’s too much disinfectant in the waters.
A splashback can cause stings and slaughters.
Your delicate nethers are like an open wound.
And your cheeks are exposed in the full moon.
So you try to be gentle, to drop small loads.
Please, no splashes that may corrode.
But it’s hard to control the turd’s weight.
Cos it all depends on what you ate.
Say you had lots of liquorice all sorts…
You’ll be doing a lot of squirty exports.
But if you’ve eaten beans and ham hock…
My friend, you’re going to receive the toxic shock!