You know what’s the shitty worst?
When you’ve got a stuck bratwurst.
It dangles half in and half out.
It won’t ooze like soggy sauerkraut.
This is some sort of mid-poo curse.
No matter how much you huff and puff.
You can’t budge the stubborn brown stuff.
Your sphincter does a clench and retract.
But the shit feels anchored and compact.
Now your knees are red, you’ve had enough.
It’s time to take mushy matters in your own hands.
You have dreams of flowing golden brown sands.
But don’t get your hands dirty.
You’ve been pooping since 2:30.
You’ll need to wear gloves if you understand.