Magic, Pooetry

The Brown Age Mystery

Do you know poops are prehistoric?
And no, that question is not rhetoric.

Thought to exist in the ancient Brown Age.
Gargantuan fecal fossils you’ll be amazed!

So let me give you a brown-eyewitness account…
About an extraordinary specimen of gigantic amount.

I hadn’t pooped for a couple of days.
I was all backed up and quite dismayed.

Fearing all the worst I made a coffee…
A triple shot… I wanted to move toffee.

With beverage consumed, I began to wait…
To see if I could encourage my fecal fate.

Then from below, I heard a sickening howl…
I caught a whiff of something foul.

It reminded me of something I studied when I was a boy…
About a Poorassic monster which gave me great joy.

So I went to the throne without hesitation…
To rid my bowels of my constipation.

Without warning the light began to flicker…
And the foul odour got quite thicker.

With another sickening howl, a beast was born.
I swear my anus was bloody and torn!

I looked down to see what I had created.
Looking back at me, I’d never contemplated.

It was a Three Log Monster from The Brown Age.
A terrifying specimen, full of rectal rage!

Fearing for my life I pressed the flush!
But the ancient monster was in no rush.

I flushed again and to my shock…
The monster had made the toilet block.

What could I do to banish the beast?
I had to urgently send him south by southeast.

The bowl full of water and the beast so vile…
I couldn’t help but notice he wore an evil smile.

He wasn’t going anywhere, he found his new home.
So for my records, I took out my smartphone.

I opened the camera to take a quick snap…
To document the monster made entirely of crap.

I pressed the button which triggered the flash.
But it was in vain… he disappeared in a splash!

Pure Pooetry

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