I just did an almighty sneeze.
It loosened the rectal sleaze.
Now I’m checking my pants.
For any fecal happenstance.
You see, I ate something sloppy.
So my tummy is full of ploppy.
Bowels could give way any second.
Brown flood involuntarily beckoned.
This is a very fragile state to be in.
Clench tight and hold the brown sin.
One wrong move, you’re soiled.
Undies forever brownly spoiled.
But my underwear is clean as a whistle.
Coulda sworn I felt the sour gristle.
I realise I’m not even wearing my trousers.
My legs have received the shitty showers.