Sneeze Sleaze

I just did an almighty sneeze.
It loosened the rectal sleaze.

Now I’m checking my pants.
For any fecal happenstance.

You see, I ate something sloppy.
So my tummy is full of ploppy.

Bowels could give way any second.
Brown flood involuntarily beckoned.

This is a very fragile state to be in.
Clench tight and hold the brown sin.

One wrong move, you’re soiled.
Undies forever brownly spoiled.

But my underwear is clean as a whistle.
Coulda sworn I felt the sour gristle.

I realise I’m not even wearing my trousers.
My legs have received the shitty showers.

Pure Pooetry

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