Here I squat, dropping you know what.
Forcing out a sludgy brown snot.

But this one is different, this one is tricky.
It’s slow and stubborn and far too sticky.

I clench and grunt, I squeeze and heave.
But this nasty shiz just won’t leave.

Maybe the only way to be free of this poop…
Is if I used the damn ice cream scoop.

It’s a nagging feeling you can’t shake loose.
That’s me with this annoying chocolate mousse.

It feels like I’ve got a phantom limb.
A tail in my cheeks and it ain’t thin!