I have a problem, I’m the first to admit this.
I’m hooked on chillis that boil the south abyss.

I need to back off, say no to the spicy powders.
Cos later on I’ll feel the heated caca-chowders.

I lie to myself "this will be ok, this will be alright."
But my rectum is suffering an evil spicy shite.

I glance in the bowl and see waters so murky.
A bit of red, brown and green like gurky.

No doubt from all the volatile food I’ve consumed.
Like a spicy brown cement, my fate is doodoo-doomed.

And there it is, the pangs of searing hot shite.
Burning my a-hole as I try to give it flight.

I won’t be able to walk for the next few days.
Cos my bunghole is crispier than a fiery blaze.