I’m rushing to the loo, to take this urgent poo!
It’s crazy, like shit-flinging monkeys in a zoo.

I’m in this poo-panic cos shit’s gone south.
So tightly closed is my dirty rear mouth.

I’m holding it in with all my might.
Floodgates would break with a fright.

Huffing and puffing, I trek it up these stairs.
Distractions galore, but I got just one care.

I jog down the hallway on my tippy toes.
Must reach the goal before my rectum blows.

Finally in the bathroom, but I’m denied!
The cubicle is taken! “Nooo!” I cried.

Then a twist of fate, another is free!
The gods of poo are smiling upon me.

As I burst in, I rip off my pants.
I plant my ass for the fecal dance.

I sigh as my eyes are closed and brown eye open.
I’m filled with relief as my bowels have awoken.

I look around to a truly horrendous sight.
I left a trail of turds in my hasty fecal flight.