My ass is firing on all cylinders!
Impact is felt by all New Zealanders!

This message comes as a stern warning.
Soon a monstrous brown will be spawning!

I head to the throne with all haste.
Safety is needed to spread this paste!

I must reach the bowel sanctum…
To avoid an explosive rectum!

I make the throne and do the deed.
The porcelain has had a brown feed.

But in my hurry, I failed to detect…
The seat is covered in brown specks!