Decrepit dumps make the anus sore.
Eventually the bogging becomes a chore.
A behemoth browning, a shitful spawning.
Sadly, this was my reality this morning.
A crap so monstrous you think you’ll die.
Straining so hard you might blast off and fly.
The dilation was wider than a bowling ball.
I was clutching the porcelain so I wouldn’t fall.
I felt my veins bulge and my vessels erupt.
The payload caused my anus to deconstruct.
I let out a massive groan as the peak approached.
Unloading this mass had my sanity encroached.
Beads of sweat clung to my red hot brow.
So I made this promise, a solemn vow.
If I ever cross the path of another such fierce fecal.
I’ll opt for the C-section because it’s far less lethal.