Why do people soil the seat?
It’s where we sit with planted cheeks.

In times of need and in a hurry…
We shouldn’t need to stop and clean someone’s slurry.

This has happened to me quite a few times.
And frankly, I see no reason or rhyme.

It’s common courtesy to clean the seat.
So the next person’s cheeks can freely greet.

The gloves are off and something needs to be done.
These fecal offenders need to be shunned.

So if at your house a surprise is waiting when I open the door.
I’m telling you now I’ll just shit on the floor.